Blank head

My head is blank. Can't think of anything. But as i write, there's just too many things crashes in my head, but i don't know where to start.


One side i have lots of positivity running through my blood stream, another side i feel like a piece of shit. 


A lot of times in life, i think i expect too much. Too much from anything my heart catch hold on. My heart is full of hope for great things, and not afraid to take chances, not afraid to get into a little trouble. My heart is ready for a move, is ready to be set free. However, it might not be the same the other way. My brains are thinking, is it really needed? What will happen after that? What are the circumstances of my action? How should i face it?


Why must there be contemplation? Why must there be accountability? I'm not being irresponsible but why are we afraid to take chances? Why are we afraid to make a mistake in life? Why are we, afraid? I guess the main stumbling block is fear. Fear, is real. It's undeniable.It's painful. But it does not mean you cannot overcome. All we need to do is to give in to one another, and conquer this fear together, as long as we are in the same ship, there's always a back-up, a partner, a companion. At least you don't go through fear alone. What seems to be the bigger picture is loneliness.


Maybe at the end of the day, i'm just lonely. Loneliness doesn't mean there is no one with you. It's more about no one by you. Being with you and being by you is 2 different things. Being with you is a physical person beside you, but being by you is not just physically, but mentally and emotionally feeling and agreeing and standing by you no matter it rains or shine. We don't usually find this kinda people around, but we can always be one ourselves. When you meet that someone that stands by you, never loose them. Hold them tightly in your heart and never let go. That, is what i've found but, i can't keep.